I had "dinner" with some friends tonight. I call it "dinner" cuz all I had was a cherry coke. It was interesting because we are pretty much all there because of our connection with this one guy. I was sitting across from him tonight and it was like he was holding court. Not in a pompous self aware way just you can tell this is kind of where  he gets to shine, be the leader. I'm not very social aware , I suppose, they talked about video games most of the night and I've only played wii with Robin's boys. And most of the time I loose at that or make someone so frustrated I just hand it off to the three year old.

Today was the first day I was happy to be back in Alaska. The mountains were beautiful, you could see all the way to McKinley. I really wanted to go for a hike. Today was the first day I felt I was going to be ok , away from the bustle of London, away from the family of people who know everything about me, away from never being alone. Don't get me wrong I like my space but I miss never being lonely. And I know, I know we are never alone, God's always at our side but God gave Adam , Eve because it wasn't good for him to be alone. God gave me a group of people that knew all my silliness and stupidity and downfalls but loved me any way. Tonight I guess was just a reminder that things are different here. But is that OK? no. It's not. I don't even know where to start when it comes to making friends anymore. I've literally grown up with everyone I know here. And in London you all just get thrown together for a time and you have to be friends for gosh sake.


This post doesn't make sense really I just needed to get it out of my system.

it's so quiet.